Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Charity Bullshit

Now before I start let's get this clear.  I'm not saying giving to charity or charities are bullshit. 
What is bullshit are the constant stream of requests from friends for sponsorship for stupid activities.

Exemptions include Movember....that was genuinely good as the people involved actually achieved something.

January however seems to be plagued by Dry Athletes.
These are people who won't drink alcohol for a whole month.  Woop-dee-fuckin-doo!!

Ok, it's for a good cause but c'mon.....try something a bit more adventurous.

As far as I'm aware none of these people are alcoholics so this "feat of endurance" really has no point.

If you bungee jump or abseil for charity and are deathly afraid of heights...cool, well done, here's a fiver.
Growing a moustache that may make you look like a tool....ok, less impressive but here is 3 quid.

Not having a drink of alcohol for 30 days....meh. 
I haven't had a drink of alcohol in over 5 years, my backdated sponsorship money must be in the thousands! 
My problem is that it's too easy.  Without thinking about it these folk might go a week without a drink.  That's 1/4 of their work done! 

So here is my plan.  I will seek sponsorship (not sure for what charity yet) as I will go for an entire month without shooting up Heroin.
I'm not currently addicted to Heroin and have never actually done any drug stronger than Ibuprofen. 

So there we are, who's gonna be first to sponsor me? 

This was not the best of my rants but gimme a break, I'm suffering withdrawal from my non-use of Heroin, gimme a quid!


P.S. If any of you "Dry Athletes" had a drink at New Year after Midnight, you failed.  Give back the money you have raised and pay it yourself.  It's the right thing to do since you cheated!

Tuesday, January 01, 2013

Stereotypical first post of the New Year!

It's just after 4am on New Years Day and I'm just out of bed after sleeping through another Hogmanay.

This is what Lucius has become........middle-aged.

For those of you who use to read my blog before, welcome back! 
For new readers who chance upon these words.....Hi, I suppose.

I have decided to start doing my blog again.  Why?  No idea, I just decided right now and here I am.

Things will be different this time.  Not too different. 
Everything still pissed me off so the blog will still be full of shit rantings and ravings.

So what has changed? 
Well, I'm now living alone with a dog (Lucy, the original Lucius Shitface) and have even less of a social life than I did before. 

The Cults Hotel fucked me over and ruined the last 2 months of my already shitty year.

That's it.  Nothing else is new.  *sigh*

Oh wait, the Midget is no longer hanging about. 
I was sitting on a bed in Banff in Canada checking my Twitter.  We had been conversing when she made a joke I decided was offensive.  It wasn't but was slightly insensitive.  So I jokingly over-reacted and started an argument. 
The end result, were not friends anymore and she doesn't pop round for dinner and let me finger her before going back to her boyfriend Dan.
It was fun while it lasted but that argument was more fun than I have had in months. 
Totally worth it!

Anyway, a New Year blog post wouldn't be complete without the obligatory resolutions. 
So here they are:

1:  Make NO new friends in 2013.  I have enough already!

2:  Be more confrontational.  I don't think I'm out-spoken enough.

3:  14 stone.  16 was the previous target, I'm making it harder for myself.

That'll do!

Now time to shamelessly plug the Podcrast and Twitter!

As some of you know Gareth and myself record a podcast called Podcrastination.
It can be found at:

Not sure when series 3 will start as we (I mean G, I do very little) has a few episodes of series 2 to post.
We are attempting to plan episodes in advance rather than our current style of just sitting down (sporadically) and talking.
If anyone has any suggestions TELL US, TELL US NOW!!  HURRY UP!!

You can also follow me on twitter @LuciusShitface, Gareth @GDdotT and the podcast twitter @P0DCRASTINATI0N (the O's are zeroes).

Right, that's it.
See ya!